Why Do I Always Assume the Worst? How to Stop Overgeneralising Your Thoughts
- Sarah Cosway
- Mar 9, 2022
- 9 min read
Updated: 3 days ago
Overthinking 101 - part 4 of 11
Table of Contents
This is the fourth post in the Overthinking 101 series, and it's all about a very human habit: assuming the worst (about ourselves, other people, or what’s going to happen) based on just one moment, mistake, or interaction.
If you’ve ever caught yourself thinking:
“Why do I always assume the worst in people?” or
“Why do I immediately expect things to go wrong?”,
then you’re in the right place.
If you haven't caught my earlier posts, then it may be helpful to go back and start with the overview: Overthinking 101- Your Thoughts Aren't Always Facts.
That article sets the stage for understanding why our thoughts aren’t always all that they seem, and how mental habits like 'Assuming the Worst' (a pattern known in psychology as 'Overgeneralising') can cloud how we see the world, our relationships, and our future.
The Pitfall of Of Assuming the Worst: How One Bad Moment Skews Your Whole Outlook
Overgeneralising is another common unhelpful thinking habit, and it’s a sneaky one. It happens when we make sweeping assumptions based on limited evidence, like experiencing one rainy day and assuming the whole summer holiday's a write-off
It often shows up alongside Black and White Thinking (which we explored in the last post) and is linked to both anxiety and depression.
Like with many of the thinking traps, it can quietly chip away at our confidence and cloud how we see everyday situations.
It kicks in when our minds take a single experience and use it to predict what's going to happen in the future...and it especially seems to like the worst-case scenarios!
This is classic assuming the worst, where one tough moment convinces us that more are just around the corner.
Say you stumble over your words in a work presentation once, your mind might instantly decide, “I’m terrible at presenting”, even though it’s only ever happened the once.
One bad date, one harsh comment at work, one mistake… and suddenly the conclusion is:
"This always happens to me. Things never go right."
As with many of the overthinking habits, this thinking trap probably evolved to keep us safe by helping us predict danger back in less modern times.
The problem is that in these much safer times, this way of thinking is more likely to hinder rather than help us.
Navigating Chronic Situations: Why Long-Term Stress Fuels Overgeneralisation
The COVID-19 pandemic proved to be a fertile breeding ground for this style of thinking.
As the crisis rumbled on for over two years, it became easy for it to start to feel like it was never going to end.
This triggered thoughts for some people along the lines of:
“Things will never get back to normal”, or
"I'll always feel this isolated",
which are classic signs of overgeneralising and other negative thinking patterns.
In long, uncertain situations like that, our minds naturally try to make predictions because it helps us to feel like we have some sense of control.
Unfortunately, because those predictions often lean toward the worst-case scenarios, this way of thinking can quietly reinforce our anxieties and make our futures feel more hopeless than they actually are.
Recognising that we're getting pulled into this mental loop is the first step in learning how to stop assuming the worst, even in situations that feel never-ending to us.
Breaking the Overgeneralising Loop: How to Build Awareness and Reflect Effectively
Overgeneralising is one of those negative thinking patterns that thrives in the dark, so shining a light on it through self-reflection is how we work to disarm it.
One way to stop assuming the worst is by learning to challenge your brain’s mental shortcuts.
Your brain is trying to keep you safe by predicting outcomes as quickly as it can (the shortcut), but that can mean that it skips important context.
So, when you find yourself having thoughts that you're never going to get over something, or something's always going to be a certain way, bring awareness to the fact that your mind may be magnifying the situation.
Remind yourself that in the past, there have been things that you thought would always happen (or conversely never happen), but then they actually turned out differently to what you expected.
Reflecting on the situation helps you to "zoom out" from the wonky thinking, as it helps you see if there are other perspectives.
It’s like changing from a close-up to a wide-angle lens; you start to see more of the picture, and the problem perhaps doesn’t feel quite so overwhelming anymore.
Keeping a journal can be helpful with this as you can go back and review all the predictions you have made in the past to see just how accurate they were (my bet is: not very!).
This kind of journaling is one of the most effective ways to start learning how to stop assuming the worst in everyday situations.
Working through a few reflective questions can help you to untangle your negative thinking patterns and remind you that just because your mind assumes the worst, it doesn’t mean that it’s telling the truth.
When you track your thoughts over time, you’ll probably notice that your brain can be a bit of a dramatic storyteller!
Reframing for Balance: Seeing Beyond the Worst-Case Scenario
Another way to overcome this way of thinking is to reframe the situation. This helps you to spot when you’re assuming the worst and offers your brain a new way forwards.
Our brains are naturally wired to focus on threats, as that gave our ancestors the evolutionary edge.
But we don't live in such a dangerous world as our ancestors, so reframing helps us to counterbalance this natural tendency by training our minds to also take note of what’s stable, improving, or safe.
That way, your brain doesn’t get stuck in a loop of assuming the worst just because one thing went wrong.
Reframing is one of the most effective ways to interrupt negative thinking patterns and create a fuller, more realistic picture for ourselves.
It's like having a gloomy filter over every photo in your album, and being able to toggle it off, so that you can see the full colour and contrast of the real picture.
You’re not deleting the original shot, just making sure that shadows don’t define the whole frame.
Let’s be clear though, this isn't about being a Pollyanna; reframing isn’t toxic positivity.
It isn’t about trying to dismiss the negatives and pretend that they didn’t happen, rather it's about balancing out the negatives by also acknowledging the positives.
When we practise looking at both sides of the coin, we’re training ourselves out of the habit of automatically assuming the worst.
And the more often you practise this strategy, the less of a grip the old, negative thinking patterns will have on you over time.
Kindness Amidst Overgeneralising: Embracing Forgiveness for Personal Growth
Every time you catch yourself assuming the worst and choose to pause instead of getting into a spiral, you're already doing what is probably the hardest part.
After all, you can't do something about something if you don't know what that something is!
We don't make progress in a straight line; it will be 'two steps forwards, one step back'.
But that’s how strength is built, each time you reflect, it develops your muscle of self-awareness, and with that comes the freedom to choose a different response.
Think of this as being like learning a new language: at first, you’ll slip back into old phrases, but with lots of practice, the new words will start to feel increasingly more natural
Slip-ups are inevitable, so be open to forgiving yourself when they happen, and show yourself compassion in the same way that you would a loved one or close friend.
Overcoming negative thinking patterns isn’t about never, ever slipping; that is unrealistic.
Rather, it’s about noticing, adjusting, and moving forwards with self-kindness.
Be supportive of yourself and remember that you are learning to approach things in a new way, which takes everyone time and practice.
This article is one part of a series tackling unhelpful thinking patterns that can contribute to anxiety and low self-esteem, along with a host of other challenges such as stress, overwhelm, and low mood.
To find out about the other common thinking traps, you can explore the full 'Overthinking 101' series by following the links below:
Critical Self - the tendency to paint ourselves in the least flattering of lights
Black & White Thinking - the tendency to see things in extremes, with no space for nuance...a situation is either a complete success or a total failure
The Mental Filter - the tendency to focus only on the negative aspects of a situation whilst filtering out any positives
Mountains & Molehills - the tendency to magnify negatives and minimise positives
Mind Reading - the tendency to assume that we know what other people are thinking, and usually then assuming it's something negative
Catastrophising - the tendency to assume the worst possible outcome will happen, even in situations where it's not very likely
Shoulds & Musts - the tendency to hold ourselves to unrealistic expectations and rules, that invariably set us up for failure
Judgements & Labelling - the tendency to attach negative labels to ourselves and others based on isolated events
Emotional Reasoning - the tendency to believe that our emotions are an accurate representation of the reality of a situation
Glossary: Not Sure What Something Means?
Some therapy-speak phrases pop up a lot, but they’re not always crystal clear; so here’s a quick, plain-English explainer.
Overgeneralising | A common unhelpful thinking habit, where one negative experience leads you to assume it will “always” be that way (e.g., failing once and deciding you’re a total failure). |
Cognitive Distortions | Automatic patterns of negative thinking that skew how we interpret events. These include overgeneralising, catastrophising, and black-and-white thinking. |
Negative Thinking Patterns | Repetitive, automatic thoughts that lean towards pessimism, self-doubt, or fear, often contributing to anxiety, low mood, and overthinking. |
Assuming the Worst | When your mind jumps to the most negative possible outcome, even without evidence, often fueling anxiety and making situations feel more threatening than they actually are. |
Reframing | A CBT technique that helps you look at a situation from a more balanced, realistic perspective, without pretending that everything is perfect. |
FAQ: What People Are Asking About Overgeneralising (Chances Are, You Are Too)
What is overgeneralising in mental health?
Why do I always assume the worst?
How do I stop overgeneralising my thoughts?
Is overgeneralising the same as catastrophising?
Can CBT help with overgeneralising?
If your mind still feels like a battleground, that’s okay. Many people feel the same.
Support is within reach.
About the author: Sarah Cosway is a BABCP-accredited Cognitive Behavioural Psychotherapist with over a decade of experience working in mental health both within the NHS and in private practice. She offers tailored CBT in a compassionate, collaborative environment, empowering clients to build resilience and manage their mental wellbeing with confidence.
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